| Location | Peterborough |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 01/02/2008 |
| Date of Death | 01/02/2008 |
| Visitors | 3,930 since 11/04/2008 |
| Creator |
Hello,
My name is Vera, I'm 41 years old, originally from Portugal, now living in Peterborough in England, since November 2005.
Our Diana was stillborn in 1st February 2008, at 3.30 am, 35 weeks+5 days. She weighed only 1,620Kg and had 47cm length.
My Diana was a beautiful baby in every way.
There were no problems in my "surprise pregnancy" and Diana was my second baby, our son named her.
In my 35th week routine appointment, the midwife couldn't find the baby heart beat, so sent me to the maternity where after 2 scans in 2 different rooms with 2 different machines and medical staff, the news were unbearable "... I can't find your baby's heartbeat... I'm so sorry, your baby passed away...".
They were dreadful those moments we lived in that afternoon, I can't put in words the size of our pain. What I and my husband cried, still in disbelief, because was cruel and trying to understand our innocent child had left us.
The labour had to be induced and I gave birth 2 days after. The midwives at Peterborough Maternity were so sensitive and respectful to Diana and us.
When we met Diana, the time stopped, the sounds silenced, everything turned very special and precious. The midwife Mary took her, dressed her beautifully with the clothes we had for her, took photos and brought her back to us in a Moses basket. We were able to spend time watching her, feeling her, but how imense and confuse were our thoughts and feelings at that time. The hardest thing we have ever had to do was walking out of that room without our baby girl, therefore we felt the same at home, watching her lovely empty cot.
Her funeral was held on 19th February at North Bretton Crematorium. It was a beautiful service attended by some close friends and my midwife. My husband carried the little white coffin to the chapel and I gave her a large bouquet of white roses. Unfortunality, our family got lost that morning on their way to the funeral from Ely. We choose a beautiful portuguese song to play at the service, the chaplain read my poem and I read my brother's and sister-in-law poem sent from Portugal. She was cremated and her ashes are now with us at home in a very special place where we light a candle every evening. We did a memorial in our garden, her photos and keepsakes are sacred for us.
At 11th April 2008, we heard the post-mortem results, which were like I suspected. My angel was a low birthweight baby, may be due an umbilical cord too twisted. My chart wasn't correct, she measured far below from normal average.
I'm living in constant anger and guilty, my arms don't stop aching for my baby. We have a 13 year boy called Pedro, same as his dad, and he is everything a mother and father wants from a son, can't be better. He's doing fine now, but he felt terrible with his lost, as sweet and sensible as he is.
We miss her so much and we never will forget her.
Everyday we try to celebrate our love for her, sometimes in smilles others in tears.
A Birthday In Heaven by Kris Smith
I heard you crying yesterday,
And felt your heart-sent love.
So I’m sending you this message
Now, from Heaven up above.
You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My Birthday (way up here).
I know you’re missing me today
I feel your essence near.
God planned a special day for me,
He told me with a wink.
He’d ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think).
Balloons will fill the streets for me,
They float up through the clouds.
And we have lots of friends up here
That make us laugh out loud.
There is a Birthday carousel,
Jewelled horses ride the wind,
With music playing, oh so sweet…
The magic never ends.
I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing.
We ride our bikes and play jump rope
And sleep in Angel’s wings.
We’ll have our cake and ice cream
And open gifts - SURPRISE!
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies.
With love from your little Angel XX
Little Sister - by Christie Wildman
For Pedro XX
You have this little Sister,
She loves you very much,
But you’ll never get to see her,
Or feel her gentle touch.
She had to go away you see,
Through God’s garden gates.
Though she longs to meet you,
Heaven’s where she waits.
You have this little Sister,
She’s sending you her love,
Although she longs to be with you,
She watches from above.
She grew her Angel wings you see,
Though none of us were ready,
On one of heavens clouds she sleeps,
Cuddling her teddy.
You have this little Sister,
She’d love to come and play.
But for all eternity,
In the sky is where she’ll stay.
God had a plan you see,
He needs her by his side,
He’s shown her how to use her wings,
Through heavens clouds she glides.
You have this little Sister,
And though you are apart,
The love that you feel for her,
Will remain ever in your heart.
Born Asleep by Unknown Author
“Born Asleep" - such a beautiful phrase,
Always touches me to the core.
The broken cries of a Mother's heart
When it just can't take anymore.
I open my heart, one Mum to another,
So you never lose your hope,
That although it gets no easier,
I promise you'll learn to cope.
Remember your Angel is sleeping
In a world much kinder than ours
And will always be there to hold your hand
Even in your darkest hours.
My own little Angel will keep an eye,
And play with yours in their park.
But you must find your love and strength,
And feed your own little spark.
You'll never be alone my friend,
I will always understand.
If the tides loom up to swallow you,
Just reach out and grab my hand.
Minha bebe,
O papa ontem trouxe para ti as flores cor-de-rosa mais bonitas que encontrou para te oferecer no teu 2.o aniversario, colocamo-las no teu jardim. Acendi uma vela cor-de-rosa onde as tuas cinzas repousam. Junto a tua caminha, vi as tuas tuas fotos, as tuas lembrancas, afaguei o teu o ursinho rosa que o papa trouxe para ti antes de nasceres. Estas em todo o lado, mas principalmente estas nos nossos coracoes para sempre. Quando olho para o teu mano, parte-se-me o coracao ao lembrar como ele sofreu a tua perda. Queria tanto que fizesses parte das nossas vidas com alegria e nao com dor e tristeza. Desculpa por nao ter podido ajudar-te. Desculpa por teres sofrido. Espero que estejas no ceu embalada pela avo Julia. Seras para sempre lembrada e amada. Com amor da mama, do papa e do mano.
Querida filha,
Esta epoca natalicia deixa-me o coracao pesado. E esmagadora a tristeza nesta casa quando lembramos que ha 1 ano estavamos ansiosos pela tua chegada. Sabes que estavas na barriguita da mae a decorar a arvore de Natal com o mano? E a fazer todas as sobremesas da epoca? Fiquei triste de ver a tua prima partir, mas feliz porque estava perto de te conhecer. Conheci-te como ninguem quer conhecer uma filha e o que ficou foi uma dor que nao vai embora, o que ficou foi uma dolorosa lembranca. Os teus papas jamais serao os mesmos sem ti na vida deles. O teu mano nao fala de ti, mas eu sei o que lhe vai no coracao. Jamais esquecerei o sofrimento dele, quando soube que nunca te iria conhecer, que nao ias entrar na vida dele. Estou triste filha, porque nao estas aqui connosco alegrando a nossa vida, sendo amada enquanto filha presente e nao enquanto anjo no ceu. Nao queria ter dado um anjo a Deus, porque acho que Ele ja tem anjos demais.
Vem visitar-me nos meus sonhos, para que eu te possa abracar e beijar.
Sempre no coracao da mama.
Sorry
I am so sorry to hear of your loss I am thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. Your little girl has been chosen by God to be a special Angel in heaven.
May God bless you all....
Luv Michaela and Family xxx
Querida Filha
A mae cada dia sente mais a tua falta, pensa em ti todos os dias desde que nasces-te, fala contigo na esperanca que a oucas.
Mesmo sabendo que estas longe, tenho-te sempre no coracao, nao havendo um unico momento da minha vida em que nao deseje que o tempo volte atras para te salvar de tao triste destino.
Gracas a ti, sou mae de uma filha, sendo Gabriel o meu primeiro filho o teu irmao mais velho, mano este que ficou muito feliz desde o primeiro momento que soube que vinhas ai, ele estava ansioso por te conhecer minha linda menina.
Tento viver o melhor possivel os meus dias, mas Diana, a minha vida nunca mais sera a mesma, contigo tudo mudou para sempre ate eu te encontrar novamente.
Amo-te muito, minha princesa linda.
Mae
To my niece Diana,
You came in an expected way,
Our meeting was brief, but the farewell is not forever.
Until you return to our lives, whatever you come
Your soul will still be present
On a soft wind blow, in a drop of rain or in the waves of the sea
And each gesture of yours will be tender
We will meet again
Because what once was, will be again
And the Love that brings us together is Eternal.
An Angel from the Book of Life
Wrote down the baby's birth
And whispered as she closed the book
'Too Beautiful For Earth'
Only never, forever
Heaven has one more angel
An angel who never saw the sunlight, the moonlight or the shining stars
Never had her eyes wide open to see the flowers, the trees and the fields
Never had a moment to feel how much we loved her
Never to have heard my voice singing a lullaby song
Never saw her brother smiling at her
Never had a bath in her father arms
Never cried in the night calling for a hug
We will never hear her voice, never see the colour of her eyes, will never help her to take her first baby steps
There are so many 'never’s' and they are forever
Such is forever the love we feel for her
Such is forever how much we will miss her
To you, our beloved Diana
From mummy, daddy and brother
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